all or nothing

all the theology in all the world
does nothing to curb my sin

all the commentaries read
do nothing to liberate this wretched man

all the christian trappings
all the right answers

every new song i've sung
every new trend i've bought

prayed the right prayers
tithed correct fares

all the plans of Christ with man
all shattered by the pharaoh called Death

all the return trips to the confessional
do nothing to put on the brakes

all the water that i take in
does nothing to quench this burn

ofhellhadessinsweatbloodredtears
forfearsdrivingnailsintomyowncoffin
ownmyownnochancei'llownthisrottingbody
withtheheadonalanceorperhapsthecross

all the this
and all the that
do not do nothing
for all i can tell
is that all is not well

all or nothing:
how much do i give
to him who
gave himself for me?

all or nothing:
shall i escape egypt
to then drown
in a long past sea?

all or nothing:
will i choose
to wear these chains
after having been set free?

all or nothing:
will i serve
the flesh
or has the Spirit entered me?

i can't dance? a genesis reflection

i thought about calling this post "i can't exegete," but realized that the genesis (the band) joke would be far too obscure. so i sold out. anyway. the folowing is a reflection iw rote for class on the lectionary readings for the week from genesis, encompassing these particular scriptures: Gen. 6:9-22; Gen. 7:24; and Gen. 8:14-19.

These 3 readings combine to tell a complete story of the flood. The initial reading, before getting to the reasons behind God’s desire to destroy creation, first delineates Noah’s righteous character. This is crucial in light of God’s negative evaluation of humankind, for if not for Noah, perhaps God wipes out “in toto,” leaving not even a remnant. Perhaps this can, then as well as now, speak to the necessity of “walking with God” even when the rest of the world seems hellbent on being hellbound. It is also noteworthy that humankind’s corruption has corrupted the entire earth, so much so that God determines to destroy not just offending human beings but also the earth itself. It appears that the earth is subject to humanity’s decisions, be they wise or foolish, again a lesson for both ancient and modern times.

While the detailed boat instructions can be seen as necessary for primitive Noah to construct an ark, his completion of the divinely given tasks also underscores his previously alluded to righteousness.

The reading from chapter 7 functions as the very concise action scene: God’s actual flooding of the earth, a judgment which, strangely, can also be seen as covenantal because of the language God uses in chapter 6. He gives Noah instructions for the ark and then says, “For my part, I am going […] to destroy.” Is this somehow a covenantal drama with God as judge/deliverer, Noah and family as righteous remnant, and the rest of humankind and the earth as the wicked recipients of judgment? If so, is this perhaps Israel’s story read back into the primeval history, or does Israel’s story recapitulate the story of the world at large?

Lastly, the concluding verses of the lection from chapter 8 represent, if not a totally new creation, at least a fresh start for creation. Whereas God, in the flood, destroyed “everything that is on the earth” and “all flesh,” now he tells Noah to “Bring out with you every living thing that is with you of all flesh.” What was just a portion of the old world, a small part of the animal and human population, has now become the totality of the new, and at the center stands, once again, human beings, surrounded by animals - with fruitfulness, multiplication, and possibility in the air.

matt varnell

reflections on community

one thing i have learned in the last month of my life is just how much christian communities need to grow in our understanding of REAL COMMUNITY. so many people, myself included, are afraid of being alone forever, and usually this connects up with our romantic desires to have a spouse, a family, or at least a stable boyfriend or girlfriend.

and yet - why is the christian community doing such a poor job that we're all lamenting how we will never find true love (or find it again once its been lost)? why are we really not there for one another? sure, we talk at functions and express our concerns and prayers; we may even hang out a great deal outside of scheduled worship services. but that sense of family is missing, that sense that the community is responsible for the well-being of each of its members, no matter what it takes. according to Jesus, the church is actually more a family than families themselves are, hence the call to leave one's family to follow Christ. and yet when we have real problems, particularly financial ones, it is not our community group members, or disciplers, or campus ministers, that we call. we call mom and dad. b/c we know that, in most cases, mom and dad have our best interests at heart and would do anyhting to help us. why is the church not more like that?

matt varnell

the grammys

grammy moments


the best - by far the best was kelly clarkson's performance of "because of you." they should have just cancelled the rest of the show and given all the remaining grammys to her.

the worst - kanye west's acceptance speech. is there a more arrogant person on the planet? scott stapp, bono, kobe bryant, and bode miller combined could not equal 1/10000000000 of this guy's ego. why do other stars get criticized for being full of themselves and yet this guy gets cart blanche to proclaim his greatness from the rooftops? does anyone even care that he's on the cover of rolling stone as Jesus being crucified? even john lennon couldn't pull off insulting Jesus, but apparently kanye can.

worst extended metaphor of the evening: bono's longwinded comparison of the music business to a circus, where you may be the high wire act, an elephant janitor, or a clown - but whatever yor job, you're still invaluable. i hope he doesn't use that one with bush next time they meet.

well - that's all for now

matt varnell

not listening to anything right now, except the sound of the television.

and now for something completely different

alright - finally!

instead of brooding poetry about how sucky my life is, i am actually going to write some prose, telling of actual happy developments in my life.

1. i think right now i am more committed to working things out with trish than maybe i've ever been in the last month or so.

2. things at seminary are finally getting on track. i am changing degree programs, which involves an unbelievably massive amount of bullshit to slog through, but it's finally coming to an end. i am turning in all the paperwork today at 12:30 pm.

3. my dad is going to be in atlanta, and we're going to have to lunch. i'm excited about that. my dad is awesome, and i love him to death.

4. God truly is faithful. if there has ever been a time that i understand the depth of the words: "if we are faithless, he remains faithful-- for he cannot deny himself" (2 timothy 2:13), it is now, looking back over the last month of my life.

anyway - hope this blog makes people smile more than some of my last ones. not that there is anything wrong with being in dark places - that's just life, and life must be faced head on - but all darkness and no light makes jack a dead boy. praise God for some light, finally!

matt varnell

ps - the "now listening to" thing is hard for me b/c i'm always listening to mix cds. so maybe i'll write it out myself. now listening to:

gumby's mix 1 (the mix heard round the world, that started it all!!!)

1. matthew sweet - sick of myself
2. brave saint saturn - the sun also rises
3. toadies - i come from the water
4. foo fighters - i'll stick around
5. 311 - don't stay home
6. POD - southtown
7. our lady peace - superman's dead
8. 4 non blondes - what's up?
9. counting crows - long december
10. stone temple pilots - creep
11. better than ezra - good (acoustic)
12. vertical horizon - you're a god
13. maroon 5 - this love
14. gin blossoms - hey jealousy
15. brothercane - and fools shine on
16. vallejo - shining sun
17. red hot chili peppers - aeroplane
18. live - lightning crashes
19. soundgarden - black hole sun

i am a lonely blog

i am a lonely blog:

begging for the world's attention

or at least the notice

of far away friends

and a farther away lover

please, please

like me

oh god please think

i'm

wittysexyjuicyhandydandycandyspicygoofy

aloofy is not the purpose here:

i'm craving your comments,

klimaxing over your kudos.



a sound from

silent syber space:

here's my book;

here's my face;

now eliminate my disgrace,

by bullshitting

about how much I ROCK...



and we drift further

out to see

ourselves

drowning in cyber

space odysseys

of our own making;

technology turned against us,

and now we wail

under its knife.



i am a lonely blog

this is highly irregular

didn't think i'd feel

through the pixels,

but now it's crystal clear

on my flatscreen monitor

that the universe

is a sad and lonely place



and i want off this ship,

need an ipod back home,

as black hole swallows

every bit of me



downloaded

imploded

corroded



malfunction discourse

the world needs a hero

i thought i'd 1

but now i'm a 0:

BYE -

nary a dream to live for,



sucked into breathless,

chucked into darkness,



the child fades...

fades...

fade....

fad...

fa...

f...

fuc...

me...

...

........

.......................

..............................

TJ&*()&*()&@!@#(*)_784015180)):"{} :LOyd89-y

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RESTART

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i am a lonely blog:

tender

when all the dreams have died
and all the promises have lied

when golgotha opens wide to swallow
and there is nothing inside this hollow

man

but straw,

a fire comes,

and it belongs to Him
the decision

whether the flames

purify or engulf.

surrounded by hell on all sides,
i plead:

"My husband,
forgive me;

Do not thrash me,
dash not my skin upon stones;

Rather, lure me into
thy wilderness
once more

And speak tender there."